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mojotastic) wrote2009-03-09 04:50 pm
mojotastic) wrote2009-03-09 04:50 pm
Entry tags:
Fic: Nate/Serena: A Photograph Fades to White
I'm posting up the Nate/Serena fic I wrote. I'm still a little WTF about my sudden need to write NS fic. Damn you guilty pleasure ship and your....prettiness! This is all ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cilly's fault.
Title: A Photograph Fades to White
Author:mojotastic
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Through episode 2x17.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Except a somewhat worrying obsession with Gossip Girl. XOXO!
Author’s Note: Feedback is my anti-drug. Seriously. Feedback. I will love you forever.
Summary: Trying to hold onto Serena is like trying to hold onto sand. You might keep some of it in your hand but most will slip away between your fingers.
A Photograph Fades to White
She’s staggering around the room like a sailboat caught in a maelstrom.
She picks up his grandfather’s antique vase, given to his mother as a wedding gift, and stares as if it contains all the answers in the universe. She’s wobbling on massive heels and an even more massive intake of alcohol.
He thinks she’ll probably drop the vase. He knows this should concern him but it doesn’t. When he’s around her he doesn’t care what his parents think. It doesn’t matter that he’s a Vanderbilt. It doesn’t matter where he goes to college. When he’s with her nothing ever seems to matter except living for the moment.
She puts down the vase just as he crosses the room. Closer to her now and he can see where her lipstick has smudged and how her hair is already tumbling out of its up-do. She looks beautiful anyway, carelessly beautiful. Everything about her is careless.
She brushes up close to him. She smells like cosmos and the cheap beer they had at the last dive bar. She smiles at him as if she’s not really seeing him and when she kisses him it feels like a dream.
He’s always felt like something about her is insubstantial, like a wave that washes up on the shore and is gone before you notice. Yet when you turn to walk away you find your feet sunk into the sand, glued to the spot, waiting for her return. Every time the waves come back your feet have sunk a little deeper, a little more rooted to the spot.
Every time she comes closer, he falls a little more in love with her. Every time she flits away he thinks he should run but realizes he’s trapped, feet buried in the sand, waiting for her return.
She lives her life like a wild thing, like a force of nature. No matter how well built the sand castle, no matter how sturdy the construction, it can always be washed away. Blair has never realized this. She continues to build her castles, using painstaking details, filling her life with fairytales that can always be swept away at a whim.
Blair pops her head out of his room, not suspicious but exasperated. Keeping up with Serena is a full time job. Someone has to make sure she doesn’t wander down the wrong alley or twirl into the middle of traffic. Nate thinks Blair secretly enjoys it. Serena’s the one who screws up and Blair’s the one that cleans up and that’s just how it has always been.
Serena turns from Nate to smile brightly at Blair. She careens over and throws herself onto the brunette in a hug and Blair is rolling her eyes at him over Serena’s shoulder. She pulls Serena into the room and leaves Nate standing in the middle of the foyer.
That’s just the way things are with Serena.
++
Nate is standing in the middle of the foyer when he hears the doorbell. He wonders why Vanessa is an hour early instead of her usual fifteen minutes late. Vanessa usually shows up on his doorstep in a flurry of apologizes and a flood of curses for whatever subway line it is that she usually takes.
This isn’t Vanessa though, because whoever is out there just continues to hold the doorbell until the sound is like a never-ending dial tone. Nate rolls his eyes and wonders what Chuck wants. He’s at the door a second later, throwing it open, feeling annoyed because he told Chuck earlier tonight he was busy.
“Listen, Chuck, I’m not going to help you spy on Blair and I sincerely doubt she’s joined a gang-“He stops with the door ajar as Serena stumbles away from the doorbell.
She’s standing on his doorstep and it’s like she never left. Like she never escaped to boarding school or fled to Brooklyn. She’s wearing a dress that’s too short and she has a bottle of something alcoholic in her hand. When she brushes past him her scent lingers; it’s a mix of perfume and a dozen bars already visited.
He closes the door and she’s already making her unsteady way to the couch. He supports her without realizing what he’s even doing. Taking care of Serena is just a voluntary reflex. He asks if she’s alright but the answer to the question seems obvious.
“Dan and I broke up,” she takes another swig from her bottle. “Or at least I broke up with him. I think he’s screwing my teacher.”
“That’s rough,” Nate says as he sits down next to her on the couch.
He’s brought back to last summer, the first time Serena and Dan broke up. How he would visit her at the beach house and they would break open the liquor cabinet and play truth or dare.
Serena is looking at him now with that expression she would always get when she had thought up a really good dare. It is not exactly a comforting expression. He met Catherine on one of her dares, standing in the woman’s backyard in just his boxers and she had smiled instead of calling the police.
Now Serena just smiles, puts down her bottle of liquor, leans across the brief space between them and kisses him. For a moment everything feels perfect. He forgets about fashion shows and SAT books, about sleeping on cold floors and his father’s arrest.
It’s like no time has passed at all and suddenly they’re the same people they were before. Perhaps they both want to return to a time when things made sense. Everything was different then.
Back then Serena could just blow in and out of situations like a strong wind, knocking things off the shelves but never having to pick up the pieces.
Back then Nate’s future had been set for him and now he has no idea what it will hold. He had always rebelled against the path laid out before him. He had always envied Serena her freedom. Now that he has some of it for himself, he finds he misses the certainty.
Serena pulls back with a start, as if just figuring out her own actions. She’s apologizing profusely now. She pushes her hair out of her face while searching for her purse, apologizing the whole time. Nate tells her it’s ok. He tries to convince her to stay but she’s already halfway across the room.
She’s gone before he can even get up.
She’s left behind her liquor bottle. He takes a swig and tastes her fruity lip gloss on the bottle. He would run after her but he knows that trying to hold onto Serena is like trying to hold onto sand. You might keep some of it in your hand but most will slip away between your fingers.
That’s just the way things are with Serena.
END
cilly's fault. Title: A Photograph Fades to White
Author:
mojotasticRating: PG-13
Spoilers: Through episode 2x17.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Except a somewhat worrying obsession with Gossip Girl. XOXO!
Author’s Note: Feedback is my anti-drug. Seriously. Feedback. I will love you forever.
Summary: Trying to hold onto Serena is like trying to hold onto sand. You might keep some of it in your hand but most will slip away between your fingers.
She’s staggering around the room like a sailboat caught in a maelstrom.
She picks up his grandfather’s antique vase, given to his mother as a wedding gift, and stares as if it contains all the answers in the universe. She’s wobbling on massive heels and an even more massive intake of alcohol.
He thinks she’ll probably drop the vase. He knows this should concern him but it doesn’t. When he’s around her he doesn’t care what his parents think. It doesn’t matter that he’s a Vanderbilt. It doesn’t matter where he goes to college. When he’s with her nothing ever seems to matter except living for the moment.
She puts down the vase just as he crosses the room. Closer to her now and he can see where her lipstick has smudged and how her hair is already tumbling out of its up-do. She looks beautiful anyway, carelessly beautiful. Everything about her is careless.
She brushes up close to him. She smells like cosmos and the cheap beer they had at the last dive bar. She smiles at him as if she’s not really seeing him and when she kisses him it feels like a dream.
He’s always felt like something about her is insubstantial, like a wave that washes up on the shore and is gone before you notice. Yet when you turn to walk away you find your feet sunk into the sand, glued to the spot, waiting for her return. Every time the waves come back your feet have sunk a little deeper, a little more rooted to the spot.
Every time she comes closer, he falls a little more in love with her. Every time she flits away he thinks he should run but realizes he’s trapped, feet buried in the sand, waiting for her return.
She lives her life like a wild thing, like a force of nature. No matter how well built the sand castle, no matter how sturdy the construction, it can always be washed away. Blair has never realized this. She continues to build her castles, using painstaking details, filling her life with fairytales that can always be swept away at a whim.
Blair pops her head out of his room, not suspicious but exasperated. Keeping up with Serena is a full time job. Someone has to make sure she doesn’t wander down the wrong alley or twirl into the middle of traffic. Nate thinks Blair secretly enjoys it. Serena’s the one who screws up and Blair’s the one that cleans up and that’s just how it has always been.
Serena turns from Nate to smile brightly at Blair. She careens over and throws herself onto the brunette in a hug and Blair is rolling her eyes at him over Serena’s shoulder. She pulls Serena into the room and leaves Nate standing in the middle of the foyer.
That’s just the way things are with Serena.
++
Nate is standing in the middle of the foyer when he hears the doorbell. He wonders why Vanessa is an hour early instead of her usual fifteen minutes late. Vanessa usually shows up on his doorstep in a flurry of apologizes and a flood of curses for whatever subway line it is that she usually takes.
This isn’t Vanessa though, because whoever is out there just continues to hold the doorbell until the sound is like a never-ending dial tone. Nate rolls his eyes and wonders what Chuck wants. He’s at the door a second later, throwing it open, feeling annoyed because he told Chuck earlier tonight he was busy.
“Listen, Chuck, I’m not going to help you spy on Blair and I sincerely doubt she’s joined a gang-“He stops with the door ajar as Serena stumbles away from the doorbell.
She’s standing on his doorstep and it’s like she never left. Like she never escaped to boarding school or fled to Brooklyn. She’s wearing a dress that’s too short and she has a bottle of something alcoholic in her hand. When she brushes past him her scent lingers; it’s a mix of perfume and a dozen bars already visited.
He closes the door and she’s already making her unsteady way to the couch. He supports her without realizing what he’s even doing. Taking care of Serena is just a voluntary reflex. He asks if she’s alright but the answer to the question seems obvious.
“Dan and I broke up,” she takes another swig from her bottle. “Or at least I broke up with him. I think he’s screwing my teacher.”
“That’s rough,” Nate says as he sits down next to her on the couch.
He’s brought back to last summer, the first time Serena and Dan broke up. How he would visit her at the beach house and they would break open the liquor cabinet and play truth or dare.
Serena is looking at him now with that expression she would always get when she had thought up a really good dare. It is not exactly a comforting expression. He met Catherine on one of her dares, standing in the woman’s backyard in just his boxers and she had smiled instead of calling the police.
Now Serena just smiles, puts down her bottle of liquor, leans across the brief space between them and kisses him. For a moment everything feels perfect. He forgets about fashion shows and SAT books, about sleeping on cold floors and his father’s arrest.
It’s like no time has passed at all and suddenly they’re the same people they were before. Perhaps they both want to return to a time when things made sense. Everything was different then.
Back then Serena could just blow in and out of situations like a strong wind, knocking things off the shelves but never having to pick up the pieces.
Back then Nate’s future had been set for him and now he has no idea what it will hold. He had always rebelled against the path laid out before him. He had always envied Serena her freedom. Now that he has some of it for himself, he finds he misses the certainty.
Serena pulls back with a start, as if just figuring out her own actions. She’s apologizing profusely now. She pushes her hair out of her face while searching for her purse, apologizing the whole time. Nate tells her it’s ok. He tries to convince her to stay but she’s already halfway across the room.
She’s gone before he can even get up.
She’s left behind her liquor bottle. He takes a swig and tastes her fruity lip gloss on the bottle. He would run after her but he knows that trying to hold onto Serena is like trying to hold onto sand. You might keep some of it in your hand but most will slip away between your fingers.
That’s just the way things are with Serena.
END