mojotastic

Since the last episode of Gossip Girl was such a fun return to form (and included some truly hilarious scenes) I thought it was only right to picspam it! Now, knowing my tendency to get completely insane with the length of my picspams I decided to limit this one to four scenes in this episode made of awesome.

So now, without further ado:


Scene 1: Berets = Spying!

So Blair decides that Serena's boyfriend, who I shall call Ken Doll, but only because typing out Creepy Human Version of the Beast from Beauty and the Beast is too long to type out. But seriously. He looks like a 2-D Disney character and it is as creepy as that sounds.

ANYWAY! So she decides to be all stealth and stalk-y, which is usually Chuck's territory. This may explain why she is standing out in the middle of the street in a beret and trench coat, looking around in a shifty manner as if she's about to either carry out a professional hit or flash someone.

Which is of course when Chuck's limo pulls up. I was sad when I realized Blair was just in front of the Palace and it wasn't just that Chuck tails her at all times, waiting for a moment to "casually" bump into her. "You're on vacation in France? I'M on vacation in France! WHAT ARE THE ODDS! What a random crazy happenstance!" Oh well. We know he does this like 90% of the time anyway.

Blair's FACE here just really kills me. Her whole busted look is adorable.


Chuck: Blair. I see you're wearing your beret. Who are we spying on tonight?

I don't know why, but I love this line so much. Because in my mind this is all they were doing that week that they dated. Like they would just put on matching berets and fight crime spy on people. And maybe sometimes they'd make out a little. But mostly SPYING! Also we all know that Chuck's super!sekrit spy beret would look LIKE THIS.

Blair explains that she's there for truth, justice and to save her BFF! Chuck agrees that he doesn't like weird Ken Doll Face either which I find completely endearing for no real reason whatsoever. Like I just imagine him sitting around the penthouse with his ridiculous tiny tea cup from last week's episode mulling over how he ~feels~ about Serena's new boyfriend and whether he wants to put a hit out on him or not. Oh Blair and Chuck. This is how I love you best.

Also Chuck taunts her about her relationship with Nate and she goes "It's good for couples to have seperate interests!" LOL! Like Blair's interests are sabotage and spying and berets and Nate's interests are pot and basketball and staring off into space thinking about nothing.

Then there is DANGER! And they must HIDE! LOL! Seriously. Their hiding places are so good too, as they just sort of duck by the limo but are still clearly hovering above it and entirely noticeable. God Blair, have Dorota's spy classes taught you NOTHING? Why have a secret agent spy maid if you're not going to pay attention to the lesson on surveillance?

Anyway, this scene is insanely pretty, even though it is very dark. I love the pretty yellow lighting behind them. Also they have some UST because there is nothing sexier to either Blair or Chuck than spying, scheming or potentially ruining someone's life.

They see Ken Doll making out with Poppy and Blair snaps a picture. The one thing I love about this scene is how all their bullshit and ~lurve drama~ and shit immediately goes on the backburner when they need to scheme for great justice. This is what they do. Like, practically professionally. And they just fall right back into their plotting duo so easily and I love it.

Chuck's little glance over at Blair! LOL! Oh kids. Can't you see that tag-teaming for evil purposes is what you guys were made for? If only we had gotten more of this awesome stuff this season.

Scene 2: Whoops, ruined your life! LOL!

So now Blair and Chuck have hatched a fairly simple evil plot to rid Serena of Creepy Ken Doll Face. I get Serena's aggravation with their plotting later in the scene/episode but man, I have to say I appreciate what good friends they are. If I was ever dating a creepy plastic Ken Doll face I would hope that my friends would team together to ship him off to a Disney theme park where he could be in his natural element or something.

The beginning of this scene is so cute because Blair is going bananas all over the place and Serena finds it adorable and it totally is. ALSO! Shallow note, but I <3<3<3 Serena's room. It's so pretty. I request more scenes in Serena's room, just on account of pretty.

So then Chuck brings in Poppy and everything gets awesome and crazy in the best possible way and people are yelling and hitting each other and it is fantastic. I didn't even notice this on the show but I LOL'd so hard when I saw Chuck in the cap. He's just lounging on the bed, watching shit blow up like he's in a theater audience and thinking about how delightful chaos is. Oh Chuck. It's these little touches that kill me.

Blair's FACE! I love it. Blair gives the best bitchface. Poppy then proceeds to go off on Ken Doll and starts slapping him with her purse in the fakest way possible and fakely yelling about how she's going to kill him.
Chuck: No one's killing anyone. It's a co-op cocktail party.
I don't know what is is about that line that kills me so hard but I find it hilarious. Like, this cocktail party is so boring and non-flossy that Poppy should wait for a more appropriate setting for murder.

Then Serena and Blair both feel a bit bad for a second for doing what they do best which is stealing other people's boyfriends and getting drunk and marrying them and ruining everyone's life, always.

Meanwhile Poppy and Ken Doll Face are horrible actors (the characters, not the actual actors) and yet no one seems to notice this or care. You think Chuck would at least notice, seeing as how he's probably sitting on Serena's bed eating popcorn or drinking out of that insane little teacup again and just enjoying watching shit explode in front of him.

Ken Doll leaves to clear his head after picking Serena's ~lurve~ over money. Blair is hiliarous here. She just pops on this huge smile like "You're welcome!" and goes "Well I guess he really likes you! At least now we know!" Oh Blair.

Serena: I'll deal with you later.
I love that Serena is WAY more bemused than annoyed here. Even though Blair and Chuck just sort of ruined her boyfriend's life. Serena is just like "I can't take you guys anywhere!" It's adorable. I don't understand how people hate Serena. She's awesome.

SO! I'm not kidding when I say that this next part is the ENTIRE REASON I decided to picspam this episode:


Blair: Whoops.
Chuck: Hmm.
OMG I LOVE THIS. I don't even know why! It's just so hilarious and endearing. Like they are both sort of pondering how that blew up in their faces. But also! They obviously enjoyed it. And there is face touching! And smiling! I love them so much when they conspire together! This is literally just like two seconds and yet I love it so much!

Scene 3: Hair>>>>>Everything else!

The terrible twosome decide to go out to find Georgina to prove their Butter theory! (Serena: Butter? Really? Butter? Blair: It does sound kind of stupid when you say it out loud.)

What I like about the hand-holding, besides it's cuteness, is the call back to earlier in the episode. When Blair is talking to Serena about Nate she raves about how awesome it is to have a boyfriend that will hold your hand in public (and can also show you the best pot dealer in the village!) And here, of course, we get Chuck and Blair hand-holding! Nice one.

They wake up and it's cute and they make FACCESSS! Also Blair inspects her hand like maybe Chuck just gave her swine flu or something.

Then the FIRST THING THEY DO IS CHECK THEIR HAIR! I just....I cannot deal with all the love I have for this or all the LOLs it brings into my life. Tandem hair checking! They both flip open the mirror and are like "Oh shit! I am not ~*~perfection~*~!" Chuck, you will never be able to dazzle anyone with your hair slightly mussed! It's a tragedy! Blair's face is also adorable here. She can't see her sworn enemy with Nancy Pelosi hair! (BTW? Never google image search Nancy Pelosi. You get some disturbing things.)

Then of course they both simultaneously get out their little ~beauty~ kits and start their beauty regimens. It's hilarious. I love the visual of them both getting their stuff out of their bags and primping at the same time. Also? I love that Chuck has like a briefcase with things he would need if ever he decided to sleep in his limo, like mouthwash. Chuck Bass: Ready for Anything!

More primping! Oh man, it's like the show finally listened to me and put in everything that I love about Blair and Chuck into one episode. Blair and Chuck check themselves out in the mirror and Chuck does a funny Fonze thing with his hair. THEN he gets out mouthwash and spits into a champagne flute which is simultaneously hilarious and freaking gross. Which is sort of a good way to describe Chuck himself.

Chuck gets some final primping in and Blair gets pissed when she realizes he's not going to utlize her in the field. And she doesn't want to stay in the car!

She also figures out that Chuck maybe just brought her down there for no reason so he could spend quality time with her and have dreams where they run to each other through a field of flowers and then spin and spin and spin. Also maybe he's undermining her relationship with Nate. Whatever, it wasn't like Nate wasn't invited. It's not Chuck's fault that Nate turned down the threesome.

So Chuck says some sexy things into her face about how she wanted to spend time stalking people and cuddling instead of watching Sports Center and getting stoned or whatever it is that people do in relationships with Nate Archibald. And she gets pissed but also sort of turned on.

When Chuck leaves she just sort of plops back angrily into the limo seat and sulks and it's pretty cute. (Also? I must say that Blair's coat in this episode is about ten different varieties of adorable and I covet it.)

Scene 4: Georgina Sparks will sell you for coke!

I probably could have just made a whole other picspam just out of all the amazing Georgina stuff from the episode. (One of my favorite lines was when Chuck picked Serena's call and Georgina says in this really crazy way "Tell her I said hi. I have so much love in my heart for that girl". Just typing it out doesn't do justice to the completely insane line delivery MT gave it.) I mean Georgina found Jesus and helps children make paper mache apostles! (Which are probably filled with crack. One step closer to being like her big sister SMG Sparks. I mean she's seriously like one episode away from having a coke-filled crucifix)

Anyway Blair has hilariously stolen Chuck's limo so he has to stoop to taking a taxi all the way back into the city. I'm sort of sad that we're robbed of seeing Chuck and Georgina's road trip back to the city. Do you think they played Zitch Dog? Anyway, when he mentions Blair's name, Georgina's eyes go even MORE CRAZY than the previous crazy-ass-crazy that they were.

Georgina: Blair? You came here with Blair? You know what? It's actually my day off and I really miss the city.

And just like that she slips right back into her kumbaya mode and gets this insane grin on her face and it's amazing because you know it means things are about to get real.

(Shallow note: MT/Georgina looks so pretty with the backlighting in this scene. It makes her hair glow in a really pretty way. Georgina is looking really pretty in general. She's benefitted from passing the baton of coke-whoredom onto Jenny. I think maybe she sent Jenny all of her eyeliner when she found God?)

I love the music continuity on this show. When 'URA Fever' started going crazy in the background you just KNEW some crazy shit was about to go down. I love that some storylines have their own SONGS. (NS always gets Air's Photograph for the wedding sexing flashbacks. Blair and Chuck get 'One Week of Danger'. Serena/Georgina/Crazy gets 'URA Fever'.) Props to the music department. (Also, URA Fever is one of my fav GG songs and sort of my ultimate Serena song for no reason that I can pinpoint exactly but still. Yay! Love that song.)

Dear Gossip Girl: Continue being this delightful please. XOXO- ME.

Note: Please don't steal my caps or hotlink them. My bandwidth cannot take hotlinking and exceeded bandwidth makes me sad. Also I capped/colorized this myself and it took awhile. Thanks bbs.