mojotastic

SO! I've been planning to do this picspam since last year but have been too lazy to get around to it. And sort of rightly so, as it took me FOREVER. But now, it is completed in all of it's glory so that everyone can acknowledge that Gossip Girl is truly American Hanadan.




I've tried to keep it as spoiler-lite as possible, under the circumstances, but there will be some spoilers for Hanadan's whole run and both seasons of Gossip Girl.

First! Some background on the two shows, for those not familiar to either.

Hana Yori Dango is the story of Makino Tsukushi, a poor girl who goes to an expensive elite high school. This high school is ruled over by a group of super rich douchebags called F4. It's short for Flower Four. (I know. The lulz just keep coming, trust me.) The leader and borderline serial killer of F4 is Domyouji Tsukasa. The story follows our heroine who enjoys punching people in the face for great justice as she becomes close to F4. Love triangles, tiara stealing ninjas, a beauty contest, multiple fiancees and group fight sequences ensue. I've often described the show as what would happen if you mixed Pride and Prejudice with Gossip Girl and then took that result and put it on crack.

Gossip Girl is the story of a group of Upper East Siders in New York who are filthy rich, mostly awesome and occasionally evil. Their life is narrated by Gossip Girl, a TMZ-like gossip site that follows the lives of these NY prep school kids. The show follows Blair Waldorf, the scariest queen bee ever and Serena van der Woodsen, whose mysterious disappearance and reappearance starts out the show. It also has Dan and Jenny Humphrey, borderline poor kids who go to the rich UES schools. Filling out our cast of main characters are Nate Archibald: professional manwhore and Chuck Bass: professional stalker and all-around creepy creepster.

Now that we've had that primer? ONTO THE PICSPAM! Here are the many, many, MANY ways that Gossip Girl and Hana Yori Dango are cut from the same cloth. Sadly, I could have probably figured out more, but I didn't want to be doing this for the rest of my life.

#1 Poor Kids/ Rich Bitches




Our plucky heroines (yes, I'm counting Dan here too) are from the wrong side of the tracks and going to an exclusive school filled with bitchy rich kids. Like Dan, Makino has adopted the possum method of dealing with this situation by trying to become as unobtrusive as possible. In Makino's defense, I doubt Dan ever had to face down the possibility of the mean girls surrounding him and pelting him with eggs. Jenny, meanwhile, faces this dilemma by trying to join the mean girl hierarchy.

#2 Bullying: Rich Bitches Do It Right.
First off, I think the best part of this comparison was just HOW MANY examples I found of it. Both shows are really based around the idea of bullying and it's such a prevalent theme that I probably could have found way more examples.


In Hanadan it's a red card and in Gossip Girl is a GG blast but in both shows it leads nowhere good. The red card is given out by F4 for a variety of offenses against them, including accidentally squinting lemon juice in their eye. (IDK I sort of get that one. That shit hurts!) On Gossip Girl, Kristen Bell's voiceover sends out blasts to the whole school's phone saying that you are a slut.


Unsurprisingly, both scenarios ended up with you being pelted with various food stuffs.

In both cases our league of extraordinary bitches is usually at the forefront of doling out the punishment.

You're also probably going to have your dinner ruined in some capacity. Whether that means having Domyouji stomp on your lobster or being stood up at Butter depends on how hardcore batshit the people you are dealing with are. Like Little J? About a 5. Domyouji? Like a 9.


Also, there appear to be a lot of shoe-related incidents? Shoe bullying is apparently really in right now. Like either Domyouji is trying to convince Makino to lick the soy sauce off his shoe or Penelope is trying to get Nelly Yuki to remove the Pinkberry on her shoe by hand. (Again, crazy points to Domyouji.) Thankfully Rui and Little J come to the rescue.

Also! The whole school might gather around if you get a red note and beat the shit out of you. Conversely, if you try to befriend the mean girls, it's likely they'll leave you in a locked store to be arrested by the police. Ah. Friendship.

#3 Mean Girls Love Headbands.


Both shows have a group of mean girls that sort of flutter in and out of the show. They matter much less on Hanadan than they do on Gossip Girl, where the league of extraordinary bitches have sort of developed distinct personalities. The one thing both groups do share, however, is a love of headbands. Also, of pelting people with food and messing with their clothes. (The mean girls give Vanessa a see-through dress. On Hanadan the mean girls cut up Makino's outfit for the fashion challenge in the Teen of Japan contest.)

#4 Non-Judging Breakfast Club? Meet F4!

In F4 we have Domyouji Tsukasa, Hanazawa Rui, Nishkado Soujiro and Mimasaka Akira. All super rich, although Domyoji clocks in as the richest. In the Non-Judging Breakfast Club we have Chuck Bass, Nate Archibald, Blair Waldorf and Serena van der Woodsen.

Four super hot, super slutty, super awesome people ruling the school? Where have I heard that one before?


Both groups tend to get in fights sometimes. Often these fights end in actual physical altercations in which our friends beat the crap out of each other and then go "lol sorry! Let's be BFF 4 L again!"

#5. The main friendship duo is totally in ambiguously gay love with each other.
Ok dudes, this is where we break it down! Since there are two super gay friends in GG, I've grouped the shows together instead of doing the side by side comparison.


Domyouji and Rui: guy love between two guys! Seriously, they are my faves. When Rui says he's going to Paris for awhile Domyouji goes insane, nearly weeps and watches the plane as it takes off like a 5-year-old. Their guylove even has a symbol, as they're always tossing apples at each other. Also, they do that totally dumb yet adorable chest bump/pointing thing.


Likewise, Chuck and Nate have an epic guylove that cannot be matched. Although their super gayness has abated somewhat in the second season, in the first season Nate was practically living with Chuck. Chuck actually said this line: Look Nathaniel there are three things I care about in this world: money, the pleasure money brings, and you. They've been having some ~relationship issues~ in season two but at least they got back to playing basketball in amazing outfits. I'm sure they'll work through everything else eventually too.



Blair and Serena are like one episode away from their very-special lesbian episode. Like Hanadan, they are pretty much THE friendship OTP on the show. Like both Rui/Domyouji and Chuck/Nate they do their fair amount of fighting but end up just deciding they love each other too much to break up. Like Domyouji, Blair has no idea what to do with herself when her bestie leaves her.

#6. Chuck = Domyouji

SO MANY THINGS ARE THE SAME. Let's see. A pseudo-serial killer/rapist with a heart of gold? check. Mommy/Daddy issues? Check. Professional stalker? Check. Yay limos? Check. Buying places for no apparent reason? Check. Insane workplace drama that has no basis in reality? Check! A complete inability to deal with his emotions in any kind of normal way? CHECK AND MATE. Seriously. If you like a girl you don't orchestrate a social coup so that she will like you again. Nor do you send her family antique furniture and buy her a gold-plated 'couples phone' before you've been on a date. Here are some more things they share:

FASHION



Their fashion sense is really one of a kind. There's a reason why I have a Chuck/Domyouji Fashion OTP icon. It's because they really are a fashion OTP. They would probably die of happiness if they got to go shopping together. Domyouji could introduce Chuck to some more INSANE FUR TRIMS for his coats. Meanwhile, Chuck could pass on his love of argyle and bowties. It would be a win-win.

LIMO STALKING


Both Chuck and Domyouji know that the proper way to stalk your lady love is from the comfort and saftey of your limo. It gives greater mobility for targets on the move, plus minibar!
WORKPLACE DRAMA

Both Chuck and Domyouji inherit jobs WAY above their experience and age-range and yet are expected to preform them well. In both workplace situations they are tricked into doing what their caretaker wants them to do. Mama Domyouji accomplishes this with a fake suicide. Uncle Jack Bass with some hookers and blow and a morality clause.

MOMMY/DADDY ISSUES

Both have issues with their aloof parents. Although major props go here to Bart Bass, who only really ever wanted Chuck to stop being such a psychopath and maybe attend school sometimes and stop sleeping with all the Palace staff. While Mama Domyouji was spawned directly from hell, never really stopped trying to ruin Domyouji's life and still got a better send off than poor Bart. We miss you and your one facial expression Bart!

DRAMA QUEENS

Sometimes, when life gets hard, the only way to express your feelings is in the most drama queenly way possible. This tends to be how Chuck and Domyouji deal with all their problems. For Chuck, this means getting wasted and yelling "I'm Chuck Bass" while nearly falling off a rooftop. For Domyouji, this means a lot of SCREAMING and occasionally throwing potted plants at innocent bystanders.

MUST <3 SCARVES

Ok, this mostly applies to Chuck and his trademark scarf. (I miss the scarf! Can we get rid of Vanessa and make the scarf a new cast member?) But Domyouji also rocks the scarves occasionally.

ROLLS WITH A POSSE


#7. LOVE TRIANGLE ALERT!



Domyouji/Makino/Rui = Chuck/Blair/Nate. Let's see, we have a triangle of a crazy pseudo serial killer, a bad ass chick who likes to punch people in the face and a dude so lazy he scopes out places at school to nap. In this corner we have a creepy stalker, a bad ass chick who will kill your fucking dog for fun so don't test her, and a dude so perpetually confused that there is no difference between Nate-on-pot and Regular-Nate. Also it should probably be noted that both Nate and Rui share similar face-eating hair styles. Although Rui's face eating hair progressed much further in it's decent to take over his face.



In both love triangles Blair/Makino are trying to hold onto their ideal prince rather than embracing the fact that they are in love with the creepy dude stalking them from the bushes. This is somewhat understandable, but the power of the OTP is inevitable. Both love triangles also threaten the guylove. I look forward to when Blair/Nate can become friends like Rui/Makino though. I love Rui and Makino's relationship. I mean, who wouldn't be a little bit in love with Hanazawa Rui?

#8. The OTP= Do not piss them off.

Makino and Domyouji? Meet Blair and Chuck. Both show-OTPs share a lot of things in common. One of them is that they have pretty kisses.

Seriously. Would you want Blair and Chuck after you? Domyouji and Makino? She punched a bear in the face and it went out cold. What would she do to you?

Also both OTPs play I-love-you Russian roulette and are completely incapable of dealing with their feelings in any kind of normal or healthy way.



Both OTPS are sort of abusive. Blair is always pulling Chuck's hair or stomping on his foot. Makino and Domyouji's ~lurve~ started when she punched him in the face.


Makino only hits you because she loves you Domyouji! How dare you dodge that!


Both couples have a hand-holding moment before a drop. For Chuck, Blair talks him down and they hug. Unfortunately, Domyouji is much less lucky and ends up falling off a drop and getting amnesia.

Both Domyouji and Chuck get their ladies dresses for the prom. Sadly, Makino never actually gets to wear hers.

Both love back hugs.



#9. In the face of personal tragedy, both OTP heroes become douches.


After the suicide of Ken and the death of Bart, both Domyouji and Chuck become huge assholes to Makino/Blair.


Seriously Domyouji, ignoring Makinos calls for months? Avoiding her in New York when she came all the way to see you? Not letting her punch you right in the face? WTF dude? It's like I don't even know you.


Similary, Chuck. Being mean to Blair after she finally drops the ILU bomb? Running off to Thailand for hookers and blow? More stuff with hookers and blow? Trying to save a ho? What is it with you and hookers dude? Not cool.

Also, when their lives fall apart, they exchange locales. If in Asia, head to NYC. If in NYC, go directly to Asia for hookers and blow.

#10. OTPs and Necklaces.





I have no comments here really except PRETTTTY.

#11. OTPs need sleep too!



Both OTPs have a sleep-cute! Domyouji and Makino end up getting stuck in an elevator for the night. Blair and Chuck fall asleep while plotting Georgina's downfall. Aw, how precious.




Both couples also have a callback to the sleep-cute during a tumult time in their relationship. Domyouji's FACE in that last cap is amazing! lol!

#12. Oh! Imagine meeting you here!!

This was probably the scene that sparked the whole idea for the picspam. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. It never fails to crack me up.

So Domyouji pulls up on Makino, rolls down the window and then DOUBLE TAKES. Like he hasn't just been stalking her the whole time.

Similarily, Chuck pulls up on Blair after getting out of some random church she's not even a member of all "FANCY MEETING YOU HERE" and then invites her to breakfast. I think that's my favorite part. That he stalks her and then is like "lol waffle time?"

Their reactions to this creepster behavior are priceless.


Of course, Domyouji actually chases after her (all in the name of giving her a ride to school!) while Chuck just sort of stays in the limo and pouts.

#13.Stuck in an elevator of ~feelings~


Both shows had a trapped in an elevator episode. When Gossip Girl did this storyline in Dark Night I actually flapped my hands about because OMG HANADAN. Sadly, it was not nearly as awesome as the Hanadan scenes.




Both shows include an escape attempt that goes comically awry. Points again to Hanadan for having Makino yelling about how Domyouji didn't wash his hands after he went to the bathroom while hanging off the elevator ledge.


Although, to be fair, the Gossip Girl variation has Dan jumping like an idiot and wiping out. Which was satisfying.

#14.Dorota = Nishida

Both loyal, awesome and not paid nearly enough for the shit they have to put up with. Both a little over-invested in their young charge's love life.

#15. Kid, I'm gonna teach you how to live!


Both Domyouji and Chuck take little brothers under their wing to teach them the ways of being awesome. This mostly consists of wearing scarves and styling hair. Occasionally some light surveillance lessons. Also they drop some knowledge on the love life front. Although we sadly don't really see Chuck and Eric talking about his love life much. We should get more of that, I'm sure Chuck is an excellent wingman.



The sisters both suspect that something much more devious is going on. I'm pretty sure Serena thought that Chuck was going to sell some of Eric's organs on the black market.

#16. We're whoring you for great justice son!



Both Domyouji and Nate are whored out by their parents for the good of the business. For Domyouji this means an arranged marriage with the daughter of a major company. For Nate this means continual whoring to Blair for a business deal. Sadly, this proved to be only the beginning of Nate's life of prostitution.

#17. My rebound has a SECRET IDENTITY.


In Hanadan, Toma is all "I'm an unassuming student...WHOOP I'm a model!" I love the dramatic gesture of pulling the hair back to reveal "OMG I'M HOT". While Blair's summer fling "James" drops this knowledge on her. "My name isn't James. It's Marcus. I'm British and a Lord." LOLOL!


Also I just realized that it happens at a similar time, timeline-wise when Chuck/Domyouji has ditched Makino/Blair and she wants to get even! Sexily! With photoshoots in HYD's case because that's the Japanese equivalent of sexily getting even.

#18. Do not trust crazy models!
Seriously. If there's one thing to take away from these shows, this is the moral of the story kids. Look at their eyes and answer this question: are they crazy? No, guys, no! I know they're hot. I'm saying ARE THOSE SOME CRAZY EYES? If the answer is yes, than chances are they will kidnap you. Or very, very slowly burn all your clothes thus ruining your career for ever and ever and ever.



It starts out well enough. You guys go out and party and have a creepy friend of hers take a million pictures of you in ~edgy~ black and white. Or he'll point out how you remind him of Joan of Arc because you stand up for people. It's all good times and it seems like you've made a new friend! A hot new friend!


Of course, there are crazy warning signs along the way. Like if you get upset that you ended up on a magazine cover and he starts crying and begging you to be his friend. Or if your new bestie starts taking you to RISD student crack dens to listen to Tatu while stripping. Or wears John Lennon glasses and a giant crazy hat. That outfit is just a warning in itself that some bad shit might be about to go down.


Which of course it does. So now your new hot model friend has kidnapped you. Or burned all of your clothes (really, really slowly burned them. But still.) Thus the moral of the story: do not trust crazy models. It's all fun and games until all your hard work goes up in flames in a trash can.

#19. Accidental Modeling!


In both cases neither Makino or Serena intended to become models. It just sort of happens. Makino is upset that she's on a magazine cover. While Serena is like "LOL AWESOME! Catwalk! Photo-op! Hold on, let me get my blue steel ready!"

#20. Oh highschool. There's always that one crazy bitch that wants to cut your face off. Or show your boyfriend the snuff film you guys made.

Sakurako = Georgina Sparks? Both come from similar crazy ass crazy stock.

Both act like your BFF while secretly plotting your destruction. Both just want the objects of their affection to notice them/be friends again.

Both change their personalities to suit their ~dastardly plans~ which aren't actually dastardly so much as weirdly un-thought yet time consuming. You know there had to be a straighter path to messing with Serena than pretending to be a girl named Sarah and befriending Dan. This plan forced her to spend time with Dan AND Vanessa. There had to be an easier way, is all I'm saying.

Both draw their crazy powers from their slutty outfits/eyeliner of evil.



Both have RUFFIED SOMEONE BEFORE. With similar results as their friends wake up going "WTF where am I?" Hilarity points to Georgina (and not just for that insane and amazing winking cap) for coming in the day after all "lulz! What a fun time! Breakfast anyone?". It's becoming obvious that Georgina probably taught Chuck some creepster tactics.


Both try to make their friends star in porn. Both then hold this over their friend's head and threaten to (or actually do) show it to their boyfriend. Although in Serena's case it's more of a snuff film.


It should be said again: both are COMPLETE CRAZY. Mess with Sakurako and you'll get your face cut off. Georgina will steal your boyfriend and sell your pony for coke. Do not get on their bad sides.

WHEW! That was epic. Props to anyone who got through that. Also major props to topazera who brainstormed with me at 2 in the morning.

Obviously please don't steal or hotlink the caps. As you might have been able to tell, this took forever. If you do, I'll probably cry or send Dorota after you.


Enjoy!