mojotastic | Yo Ho, Hoist the colors

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Hoist the Colors- PoTC- AWE soundtrack

Entry tags:

movies,
pirates

Yo Ho, Hoist the colors

SO! My review is days late. I went to see Pirates on Saturday afternoon, to avoid all the crazies in pirate costumes and whatnot. When I went to see DMC we went to the Thursday midnight showing, which I think added to my feeling that the movie dragged on forever, because I was like "I'm TIRED! Let me FREE!"

I have so many mixed emotions and feelings about this movie! I'm so confused! I did like it though. Even though we didn't get some impausiable reason for Jack and Elizabeth to mack on each other....FOR THE CHILDREN!

I swear I've been going back and forth on this movie like Jack's compass to waffles (and if you get that reference? You win at life.) I mean, I'm currently in a very Pirates-obsession mode. Where I walk around the house humming pirates music (thanks to the ever so lovely

chiri_chan who uploaded the soundtracks for me like the awesome person she is.

But it also gave me a greater appreciate of Dead Man's Chest. When I originally saw DMC (three times in the theatre but like...none since then.) I enjoyed the movie, but thought that the pacing wasn't all the great. I was hoping that the third part would be better. And it was? In some ways, and not in others.

I didn't feel the lenght as much with this one as I did with the last movie. The plot *might* have made more sense? Or less sense but had more momentum? See what I mean RE: confusion of feelings? But there were no long sequences involving cannibals, and for that I'm thankful.

The thing that I think was missing the most in this movie was the character interaction. It was missing those character moments that made the first two movies so great. In fact, after we got out of the movie, me and my friend were talking about how sometimes it seemed like some of the main characters were too busy fake-double-crossing each other to even TALK to each other.

I miss the little scenes like in the first movie where Jack and Elizabeth are stranded on the beach. Or in the second movie with Norrington/anyone. Or in the second movie where Elizabeth just really, really wanted sexin. Bad. And Jack was like "Hey! I could sex u up lolz!" And she was like "Noes!....maybe?".

In this movie it felt like they sacrificed a lot of the quieter character moments for the big, sweeping action stuff. Which made me sad, because it was always the character stuff I liked the most about the movies. Well, the character stuff and Johnny Depp in eyeliner. But the last one is a given.

So...THE GOOD:

-Multiple JACK SPARROWS! When that scene came on I was like "Wait, did I fall asleep already? Am I dreaming?" But I wasn't and it was so awesome. My favorite part is still, by far, the little Jack's hanging out on his shoulders, swinging from his braids.

-NORRINGTON NOOOOO! I have a slightly unhealthy love for Jack Davenport. I love him in the Pirates movies and I loved, loved, loved him in Coupling. I liked Norrington since the first movie, where he totally misses that Elizabeth has fainted off the building and I loved him even more in the second movie where he was scruffy and snarky and wonderful. And I loved him in this movie and I was so sad that he died. I'm glad that I accidentally spoiled myself on his death, because otherwise I would have been getting all excited at the prospect of more Norrington/Jack/Will shenangians and hiliarity. I'm glad he got a kiss from Elizabeth before he died though.

-Jack naming Elizabeth the pirate king. WAFFLES OTP YAYS!

-Barbossa and mini Jack! Barbossa was super fabulous in this movie.

-The Will/Elizabeth wedding scene. I found them...not really boring in this movie? Wha? I was never really nuts about them either way in the previous movies, but I actually liked them in this movie. Maybe it was the funny wedding scene with the rain and the fighting and being married by Barbosaa? Or maybe it was the beach!sex? Dunno, but they worked for me in this movie.

-Anything Jack did. "Four of you have tried to kill me in the past. One of you succeeded!"

-Elizabeth! She was awesome in the movie (though I think I might have liked her a little better in the last movie? If only for the fake fainting scene?).

-The guy who plays Beckett cracked me and my friend up everytime he appeared onscreen. I have no idea what it is about him, but I think Pride and Prejudice has just ruined it for me ever being able to take him seriously.

-The final Jack/Elizabeth moment! When she went in for a kiss and he was like "Once was quite enough!" HEE! OTPOTPWAFFLESOTP!

-I liked the ending after the credits. Espically now that I understand the curse from looking it up on the internets. Good job writers! Thanks for not explaining it at all! Glad that Will is coming back to his family and they will be the most awesome pirate family ever, and go visit uncle Jack and have fun adventures.

-The innuendo jokes! Barbossa/Jack and the "who has the bigger 'telescope'" fight. The shot of the ball and chains between Barbossa's legs! Jack describing his ship to the women at the end. Davy Jones is pissed because TiaDalma gave him crabs! (Just me on that last one?)

-The dainty way that Will drinks his teacup in the scene with Beckett. I would be lying if I said that that scene (and the multiple Johnnys) isn't a big reason why I want to go see the movie again.

-Jack/Gibbs guylove! fist tap!

The BAD:

-Did I mention how the curse makes little sense unless you look shit up on it on the internets?

-Lack of interaction between the principle cast.

-Callispo? Ugh...ok?

-Did we ever find out how Jack "made his mark" on Beckett? Or is that line just always gonna sound dirty to me, with no explanation.

And finally, the worst thing of all about the movie:

WHERE WAS WILL'S FEATHERY HAT OF DOOM!!! I was surprised and saddened when it didn't show up in the second movie, after it's award winning turn (Best Performance By A Feathery Hat!) in the first movie. But I thought it would definitely be back in this one. Booo! producers. BOO ON YOU!

In all: not bad? I definitly want to see it again. And it's made me want to rewatch the second movie (if only for the otpcompasswaffleshotmackagepirateaction) because I keep thinking about things about the second movie I really enjoyed and how I wish they would have incorporated it into the third.

In closing: Cap'n Jack boat crew spinoff anyone?

~Morgan

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The dainty way that Will drinks his teacup in the scene with Beckett.

Outside of Sneak Attack OTP of the Universe, I think that may have been...MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE PART OF THE MOVIE?!

You know, I never thought about Will's feathery hat of doom! Mainly because I was too busy being amused by the BANDANA being the necessary accoutrement of pirate captaining and also HIS EARRING?!

OMG! You have an icon of my FAVORITE SCENE EVER?! Hahaha! I love it! Look at how he holds the teacup, all dainty and proper! Oh Orlando Bloom. Never change.

The bandana! The earring did kill me. They were like "Let's make him more pirate-y! How many cliches do we have left?" Hee! Although I must say the bandana worked for me. :)

Waffles? I'm not following you here?

And you gotta explain the curse to me coz i'm not sure i understood it right.
I didn't see the sequence after the credits so i'm not sure if Will will have to captain the boat his whole life or just ten years.
And if it's just ten years then what"s with his heart in the chest??

I'm pretty sure the waffles thing is a reference to a quote from one of the screenwriters on the subject of J/E and W/E in DMC. He was clarifying that the compass points to what you want at that moment and that it doesn't play games or make analogies or symbologies. If it points to a waffle then it doesn't mean you secretly want to be Belgium. It means you want that waffle. The question being, as he put it, if you were really, really, really hungry and had been gearing up for quite some time for the most delicious meal you've ever had in your life and then suddenly you were unable to have said meal and were subsequently presented with a particularly interesting waffle, you might want the waffle. But does that make you a bad person.

So, in short:

Waffle = Jack
Most Delicious Meal etc. = Will
Elizabeth in DMC = Really Hungry

re: the curse

I collected a bunch of data on it here if you're really curious and also confused. Which, yeah, thanks editors.

Yup! That's what the waffles was referring to. Hee! I still laugh thinking about that explaination.

Thanks for explaining it for me. I really think I'm gonna just pimp out your curse-explaination post because reading it was the only way that I really understood what they were going for. Those editors deserve to be shot.

rawles explained it pretty well. Basically, the writers tried to explain to the fans that Jack=waffles. And that the compass pointing at him didn't mean that Elizabeth loved him or anything but just that he was hot and available and that she wanted sexin' reallll bad.

It's still one of the most ridicous explainations ever. Hee!!

Honestly, I still don't understand the heart in the chest bit, but apparently from what the writers said, it was susposed to be just ten years.

I think my problem wasn't really the movie, but the fact that I went to the loooooong nine hour PIRATE NIGHT. That made it really hard to follow the movie and go "YAY I ... GET that!" ;) But I didn't want to miss the crazies in pirate costumes. I swear one of the guys looked EXACTLY like Jack and then the friend I went with told me he looked like that even BEFORE the first movie came out. I love crazy pirate nights so much.

NORRINGTON!!!!! *cries* My first reaction when he was killed wasn't 'NOOOOO!!!! POOR NORRINGTON!', it was 'NOOOOOOO!!!! MORGAN WILL NOT LIKE THAT!' :( I'm glad that he was such a hot hero in the end, but it sucked. I wanted to get more Jack/Norrington.

The Calypso thing made no sense at all. (I think my former Latin teacher is going to cwhen she hears people calling Calypso a goddess.) At first she was SO pissed and said she was going to kill all the pirate lords and then ... nothing. Instead she becomes 50 feet tall and then turns into a big amount of ... crabs! o_O And I was sitting there after almost nine hours and had no idea what the hell had just happened. We didn't even get a a GIANT monster crab with red eyes or something like that.

Will/Elizabeth still didn't work for me. The wedding scene was cool, but I kinda cheered when he died. Of course he then had to become the immortal gatekeeper of souls because otherwise it would not have made sense, right. I think my favorite part of pirate night was spending time mocking Will with other people. ;) As for the ten years later part, do they really expect us to believe that the new pirate king seriously spent ten years waiting for this guy when she could have some fun with Jack? Please. Btw, that kid? I can't be the only one who thinks it looked just like the soon-to-be-dead kid from the beginning. So my theory? That's just some random kid she decided to take with her to make poor Will happy. You know, because they learned not to piss off the captain of that ship again.

Okay, so you're telling me this curse actually makes sense? o_O

NO FEATHERY HAT OF DOOM!!!! *sobs* I was waiting for it all the time. And it never showed up. Now I feel like making horrible manips of Orlando Bloom wearing such hats while playing with ponies.

Okay, so you're telling me this curse actually makes sense? o_O

I made an explanatory post based on information gathered from the screenwriters here.

I thought that he was the kid from the beginning too. I'm think that he's not, though. In the credits, he's just listed as "Young William Turner." I'd assume that they would have listed both if he'd played both.

It was so funny because while we were waiting through the credits my friend was like "Wait, who was Young William Turner? Was little Will in this movie" and we were like "Huh?"

And then the end came and we were like "Ohhhh!"

lol It's weird because I wasn't even paying attention to the credits but yet the one name that I somehow looked up just in time for was Young William Turner. If I hadn't known about the after credits scene, I definitely would have had no idea where in the movie he had been.

Yeah, that would make sense. To be honest, I didn't pay any attention to the credits, I was busy trying not to fall asleep. ;) It just suprised me because the kids looked so similar.

I wasn't really looking at the credits much either; I just happened to look up at the moment that DSK (the actor who played the boy) came up. It was also mentioned on a PotC message board that the programs or whatever they were that were given out at the premiere (I think it was the premiere; it might have been a different publicity event) listed him just as Young William Turner.

Wow. I commend you for your bravery. I don't think I could watch all the pirates movies in one night. Although thinking about the last movie makes me want to watch the other two. Espically DMC for the hot mackage and the scruffy Norrington!

I swear one of the guys looked EXACTLY like Jack

Did you jump him? :P

'NOOOOOOO!!!! MORGAN WILL NOT LIKE THAT!'

Haha! I am a bad influence! I was so sad when Norrington died, I was really glad I had accidentally spoiled myself for it. I was like "NOOO! Don't take Jack Davenport away from mmeeeee!" I wish he had gotten more screentime before they killed him off at least. Why couldn't he have been scruffy and hot and snarky before they killed him? Whyyyy?

nstead she becomes 50 feet tall and then turns into a big amount of ... crabs!

Apparently she was just a walking STD? I dunno that whole thing was very very confusing. I thought she was gonna kill everyone but instead she was just like "Nah, I'll just make a big storm! lolz!"

This was the first movie that I felt more than apathy for Will/Elizabeth. I think it might be mostly because of the wedding scene which I thought was awesome and hiliarous and the beachsex. I think I might just be obligated to support any couple that has hot beachsex, even if part of that couple is Orlando Bloom.

Hee! In my mind Elizabeth totally went out and had adventures in those ten years. I don't think anything said that she had to stay on the island and wait. And then she was like "Oh heyz! It's ten years lata! I gotta bounce and pick up my man!" (Because apparently Elizabeth became ghetto in those ten years? o_O)

That's just some random kid she decided to take with her to make poor Will happy.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! "Want some candy?! And....." Hee!

Okay, so you're telling me this curse actually makes sense? o_O

Only when I read the post that

rawles link you to. Otherwise I was just like "Whatever. Take me Johnny Depp!!!"

I was waiting for it all the time. And it never showed up. Now I feel like making horrible manips of Orlando Bloom wearing such hats while playing with ponies.

I was tooooo! I love how I hope that it shows up for every movie and then I'm always the most crushed that it doesn't. If you made those manips? I think I would die of laughter. I still have the Orlando Bloom/My Little Ponies OTP manip you made me.

I think ever since the "Lord of the Rings" night I went to, everything else seems rather short. ;) When I went to that I got home, took a shower and went to school, without any sleep. Now THAT was hard.

Did you jump him? :P

LOL! I thought about it until I heard that he's also INSANE. And not in the charming kind of way.

Why couldn't he have been scruffy and hot and snarky before they killed him?

YES! My friend and I were talking about that just before he died. She said she wanted him to go back to being SEXY and I told her to wait a little longer, they would probably do that soon. And then he died.

I thought she was gonna kill everyone but instead she was just like "Nah, I'll just make a big storm! lolz!"

Hahahaha! True. But even the storm wasn't that impressive. I expect more from a pissed of goddess. I used to watch crap like Hercules, Xena and ROAR and the one thing I learnd from that is: If you piss of one of the gods? You better be able to kick some serious ass.

I think I might just be obligated to support any couple that has hot beachsex, even if part of that couple is Orlando Bloom.

I think that was the first time I actually thought of orlando Bloom as hot. Just give him a bit more to eat and a pretty feathery hat and I would probably be in love. Btw, that beachsex scene? There were two guys sitting next to me and when Will started kissing Elizabeth's tigh one of said mumbled something I didn't hear. And the other one just said "Dude, no way! It's Walt Disney, the don't do things like that on screen." Somehow the image of those two guys wrting W/E pr0n after the movie just came into my head.

Because apparently Elizabeth became ghetto in those ten years?

Bwahahahaha! Thanks to you I have coffee all over my desk now.

Okay, now this is just for you. And I have to tell you, it actually took me about 15 minutes to make that. I think you'll see how much effort went into that.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Wow. Lord of the Rings night? You are a brave, brave soul.

I thought about it until I heard that he's also INSANE. And not in the charming kind of way.

Well, that's never good. LOL!

"Dude, no way! It's Walt Disney, the don't do things like that on screen."

That was my exact same thought! I was like "Oh, hey they were literally knocking boots--is he kissing her LEG?!" Hee! It was pretty sexual for a Disney movie.

Ok. Everytime I think our love cannot get more EPIC?! You then post manips of ORLANDO BLOOM IN THE FEATHERY HAT WITH A MY LITTLE PONY?!?!?!?! I AM DYING OF LAUGHTER AND AWESOMENESS!

Seriously. That is the best thing I've seen since....ever. That manip>>>LIFE. I feel the need to make it into an icon now. Look what you've done to me! I now have two manips of Orlando Bloom/My Little Ponies on my computer!!

(BTW have you see THIS (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-3jIAtWTFI). Because it's hiliarous!

Orlando Bloom/My Little Ponies is the real EPIC OTP of our generation!

LOL! If you don't make any icons, I will. I have to show the world how SANE I am.

OMG! Thanks for the link. Bwahahahahaha! Okay, I think I love Orlando Bloom a little bit more now.

-The Will/Elizabeth wedding scene. I found them...not really boring in this movie? Wha? I was never really nuts about them either way in the previous movies, but I actually liked them in this movie. Maybe it was the funny wedding scene with the rain and the fighting and being married by Barbosaa? Or maybe it was the beach!sex? Dunno, but they worked for me in this movie.

I know! I think I might have actually shipped them...for a second. Then I thought, "Why is no one stabbing you?", and the love fell away.

The beach!sex made up for it though.

-Callispo? Ugh...ok?

I didn't really care for her either. I was mostly bored and thinking Davy needed to straighten a bitch out.

Davy Jones is pissed because TiaDalma gave him crabs! (Just me on that last one?)

I thought the same thing. Mostly because I'm always thinking up crabs jokes. There's a story behind that, but the point is, I thought the same thing.

The dainty way that Will drinks his teacup in the scene with Beckett

Very proper and thoughtful, as if they were discussing...something British.

Question, was I the only one who thought, during the scene when Will confronted Elizabeth about killing Jack, that when he grabbed her it was in a "Thank God, you still love me, let's have angry makeup sex against this handy beam"?

Question, was I the only one who thought, during the scene when Will confronted Elizabeth about killing Jack, that when he grabbed her it was in a "Thank God, you still love me, let's have angry makeup sex against this handy beam"?

No. No you were not.

Not even remotely.

I know right? I swear my slight liking for W/E definitly came from some combo of the wedding scene and the beach!sex. :P

I was mostly bored and thinking Davy needed to straighten a bitch out.

Davy Jones should have totally been like "Bitch, please!" I love how they never really explained the curse and I was like "Why is he so mad at her? Dude, deal!" but when I read the explaination of the curse she is like soooo much bitchy-er. She was like "Whoops! Sorry about messing up your only chance to not captain the ship forever....you know what I'm like! lolz!"

I thought the same thing. Mostly because I'm always thinking up crabs jokes.

At least me and the friend I went to see it with weren't alone.

"Thank God, you still love me, let's have angry makeup sex against this handy beam"?

No....no you weren't. Hee!

Haha ... I don't know what to say to this, because I think I'm all talked out with my lengthy review that you haven't read. ;)

But, I loved the tiny Jack's swinging from his braid. But my only qualms with the multiple Jack Sparrow's, is the fact that we didn't get to near enough of the shirtless!Jack one. Haha. He was sexy!!! *g*

Completely loved all of the Jack/Elizabeth scenes.

When Elizabeth was shouting, "Hoist The Colors" and she gave that speech on the boat to the crew ... I got chills. I just absolutely loved that.

They freakin' shot the monkey out of the cannon. Hahaha. I absolutely died laughing, hysterical.

Um...Norrington. I was more than a little pissed, when they killed him off. I'm glad that I spoiled myself too, with that. But I absolutely loved the kiss between him and Elizabeth.

Um ... I don't know if I could have a Cap'n Jack boat crew spinoff. I don't want a spinoff at all, unless we could have Jack/Elizabeth and since Will/Elizabeth got married - there's no way that we can ever have that, because Disney doesn't believe in divorce, but they it turns out they apparently do believe in hanging what looks to be a ten year old boy in the first ten minutes of the movie. Go figure. lol.

Maybe in the Pirates spinoff it can be "Shirtless Multiple Jacks! An Adventure!"

They freakin' shot the monkey out of the cannon. Hahaha. I absolutely died laughing, hysterical.

Haha! That was so funny. I loved Jack the Monkey!

I was so sad that they killed off Norrington so fast, without him having many scenes. My love for Jack Davenport is epic and unhelathy and I really wanted to see him get to do more in the last movie. *tear* At least Norrington got to kiss Elizabeth.

I would love another Pirates movie. As much as I love the ensemble cast of Pirates, to me the movie is really all about Jack Sparrow and Johnny Depp being super awesome. I could definitly handle another movie with that, whether or not W/E were together or not.

I don't know, if I'm all that much in favor of a spin-off. But, I wouldn't mind a little mini-movie based on all of the, "Shirtless Multiple Jack's!" Now that would definitely pique my interests. lol.

Jack the Monkey, is quite possibly my second favorite character in the PotC films. Haha. That monkey freakin' cracks my shit up, every time.

Yeah, I know. I was sad at first and then I got pissed. It was so funny, because the audience that I was sitting with, was really pissed as well. There was really not reason to kill off the shiny prettiness of, Jack Davenport. People need to learn how awesome he is, but damn. At least Norrington got to kiss Elizabeth. That was fucking hot. I mean, that was the second hottest kiss I've ever seen in my life. The first being Jack/Elizabeth. Hahaha. ;)

I'm not so sure I would love another Pirates movie, I still stand by what I said to begin with. For me to want to watch it, it would have to have Elizabeth somehow and then of course, ya know Jack Sparrow. And in order for it to have Elizabeth, we'd have to have Will since the two of them are married. lol. And there's no way that we could have JE, since Disney doesn't believe in divorce, but they do believe in hanging what looks to be a ten year old boy in the first ten opening ten minutes of their movie. rotfl.

Go figure.

Nope, I'm just happiest letting it end here with, AWE. And I'll let the WE fans have their happy ending and not begrudge them that. ;)

I think the teacup makes up for the feather hat!

I neeeed to see it again. Not the waffles though. Blahhhkk! I've never liked waffles. What's ironic is that I truthfully never have. lol

Umm...yeah. Love the review. I think we've officially discussed the movie to its absolute death though, so I'm ending here.

WE BEACHSEX!

Okay, now I'm done.

A very good point! Dainty teacup= Feather Hat! :P

Really? You don't like waffles? That is very sad! How about when you make them in a waffle maker and then put chocolate sauce on it? (We do that at our dining hall sometimes.)

I think we've offically discussed the movie to within an inch of it's life. LOL! But it has made me want to go and see it again. :)

haHA! That was an awesome movie... Crazy Jack was totally one of the best parts... I liked how Elizabeth became more... hardcore, hehe. She made a cool pirate king, hehe. Also, Will's teacup was magical. I giggled.

I really want to see this movie again. And hang up my jolly roger flag again... YARR!

Crazy Jack was so funny! Johnny Depp cracks me up. Elizabeth was super hardcore! She was all like "Bitches, please!" Hee!

Will's dainty teacup holding was one of my favorite parts! Orlando Bloom cracks me up.

Jolly Roger! Hee!!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yo Ho, Hoist the colors

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject