Dayum, if feels good to be a GANSTA

[mojotastic]

Guys, there's something I have to tell you. I've long kept quiet during discussions of Smallville's actresses because I've been holding in a terrible secret. But I think it's time to let it out:

Allison Mack doesn't just hate poor people. She sometimes kills and eats them. She also did the following: Canceled every good show on FOX, Voted for Sanjaya, IS Sanjaya, Raped Veronica, Shot JFK from the grassy knoll, is responsible for the career of Paris Hilton and wrote the Epilogue for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. She also sells drugs to children in hand knitted dime bags, and then stabs them with her knitting needles.

I also have it on good authority that she both kicked your dog and stole all your glitter pens. Wherever she goes she deprives the world of laughter, sunshine, and kittens.

I know guys, this is shocking. I was shocked too. I didn't know Allison Mack was such a straight-up thug. And then of course I found photographic evidence:



I know I should stop mocking SV fandom at some point. Maybe I will when it gets itself into fandom rehab and gets off the crack? Maybe I'm just mean because I'm in the Chloe mafia and we haven't wacked anyone lately? Mysteries, mysteries.

Until then, I'll be over here hoping that Allison Mack doesn't pop a cap up in my Az-kaban.

ETA: Guys, another hero has stepped forward to help me uncover the truth about Allison Mack and the Chloe mafia. I hope you guys realize how brave we both are.

This way for more ICONS!!

~Morgan

Comments

[mojotastic.livejournal.com]

The further it got, the more I was like "This HAS to be a joke right? RIGHT?!" Hahaha! I love that though! I didn't realize that all anonymous web posts are part of that huge conspiracy.

Oh God. I just realized what Allison Mack has been doing with her free time. She is the leader of Anonymous! She just does it for the Epic Lulz!

Well, Lindsay *did* say those drugs weren't hers. I bet they were Allison Mack's. They were probably whatever she had left over after she was done selling the rest to toddlers.

[(Anonymous)]

I'M IN UR JOURNAL COMMENTING FOR THE EPIC LULZ!!!1!!11

[mojotastic.livejournal.com]

OMGZ I CANNOT IMAGINE WHO THIS WOULD BE R U PART OF A SHADY ORGANIZATION MAYHAPS?!?!

I AM INSTALLING A SECURITY SYSTEM AND NOTIFYING THE FBI RIGHT NOW!11!

[(Anonymous)]

AND YOU'D BETTER BUY A DOG!!!11!!1

[mojotastic.livejournal.com]

AH ALREADY HAF A DOG BUT I'M BUYING ANOTHER ONE. MINE WILL TOTALLY NAW UZ ANKLES AND IT'LL HURT RURL BAD!

That's him in me icon! FEAR HAMMY!

[(Anonymous)]

OH DAMN YOU HAVE ALREADY INSTALLED THE ULTIMATE DEFENSE AGAINST CYBER-TERRORISTS: TEH ANKLE-GNAWER!!!1!1!1 DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL, YOU...LULZ-KILLER!

[mojotastic.livejournal.com]

Hammy kills more LULZ than 50 Cent!

You won't be blowing up any trucks with poisnous gases now ANONYMOUS INTRAWEB CONSPIRATOR!11!

[khushiyan.livejournal.com]

Oh Allison! How could you hurt me like this? I *hearts* you!

*sob*

[(Anonymous)]

We (we meaning ANONYMOUS! we are LEGION!) don't just blow up trucks with poisonous gases.

Sometimes we also blow up SUVs.

And sometimes...we drive milk trucks right in front of those exploding SUVs at snail paces, allowing characters portrayed by actresses trying to wriggle out of their contracts to actually survive impossible explosions. This offers EPIC LULZ as the fandom melts down.

(Luckily Shelby was far away that day or our plan would have been foiled!!!1!11!)

[lilisullivan.livejournal.com]

God, i'm so out of the Smallville Fandom....
I'm just watching the show for Allison Mack, but i don't go to forums anymore, much to stressful!

Re: Epic poems about my alabaster skin are always appreciated! As is linking. ;P

[tabbymarie.livejournal.com]

I also tried for an "Allison Mack ships Clana".

.... well but that one's *actually* true lol.

[puppetoflove.livejournal.com]

Oh you crazy bitch, you've made me so proud.

[raisingirl99.livejournal.com]

So that's what really happened to Arrested Development. Always wondered.

[mojotastic.livejournal.com]

I'd say Allison was sorry, but I heard that Allison doesn't feel regret or joy. And SV fandom is never wrong right?

(BTW love your icon! Oh Chlex, I miss your sexy scenes so.)

[mojotastic.livejournal.com]

This is probably for the best, honestly. Hee! I'm only mildly in the SV fandom loop, and the sheer craziness I see sometimes scares the crap outta me.

I mean, I thought this was HP's month for CRAZY? :P

[mojotastic.livejournal.com]

You know how I rollz, homie. I just did it for the EPIC LULZ!

[mojotastic.livejournal.com]

HAHA! Yea I know, the truth has finally been uncovered!

[khushiyan.livejournal.com]

Omg! Alison doesn't feel regret? What kind of monster is she?! Oh, she is so Voldy's long lost daughter!

(ah, thank you. I think it's by your bum-chum yumeiro. I've got this obsession with sexy chlexy icons which have no or very little text and am on the hunt for moooooore. have snagged some o your too btw. :D I try to spread the Chlex ♥)

[cilly.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahahaha!!!! ILU, Morgan! And that icon is so awesome. *stealz like AM*

There's the super hardcore Eminem movie on TV right now and I try to imagine AM in it. She would totally kick everyone else's ass!

[mojotastic.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It wasn't hard to make, once I took that incrimindating picture of AM. :P

OMG, I could just imagine AM freestyling. You know she raps in her free time. Maybe her rap name is the HipHopopotamus (http://youtube.com/watch?v=FArZxLj6DLk)?

[cilly.livejournal.com]

She looks super GANGSTA-like! Now we only need to make some hardcore glitter pics!

LOL! Totally! Also, I would love to see her do the Natalie Portman gangsta rap. Because AM will kill you dog for FUN!

[cilly.livejournal.com]

I got inspired by your hardcore gangsta icon:

[mojotastic.livejournal.com]

This might be the best thing I've ever seen in my life. I've been trying to decide if I want to put it in my userinfo or not. I espically like the little guy dancing in the corner! Get down!

BWAHAHAHA!

[cilly.livejournal.com]

LOL! I'm so putting it in my userinfo. I want people to get scarred when they try to find out who I am. ;)

[tabbymarie.livejournal.com]

I had forgotten about this! Man, that selena comment was pretty mean wasn't it? I'd never kill her! Just mangle her real good!

*shifty eyes*

for those who might wanna screencap this comment. it is a joke. I do not want to mangle miss mack. she and I will have lunch and be happy and joyful with no mangling or murdering.