Dayum, if feels good to be a GANSTA

[mojotastic]

Guys, there's something I have to tell you. I've long kept quiet during discussions of Smallville's actresses because I've been holding in a terrible secret. But I think it's time to let it out:

Allison Mack doesn't just hate poor people. She sometimes kills and eats them. She also did the following: Canceled every good show on FOX, Voted for Sanjaya, IS Sanjaya, Raped Veronica, Shot JFK from the grassy knoll, is responsible for the career of Paris Hilton and wrote the Epilogue for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. She also sells drugs to children in hand knitted dime bags, and then stabs them with her knitting needles.

I also have it on good authority that she both kicked your dog and stole all your glitter pens. Wherever she goes she deprives the world of laughter, sunshine, and kittens.

I know guys, this is shocking. I was shocked too. I didn't know Allison Mack was such a straight-up thug. And then of course I found photographic evidence:



I know I should stop mocking SV fandom at some point. Maybe I will when it gets itself into fandom rehab and gets off the crack? Maybe I'm just mean because I'm in the Chloe mafia and we haven't wacked anyone lately? Mysteries, mysteries.

Until then, I'll be over here hoping that Allison Mack doesn't pop a cap up in my Az-kaban.

ETA: Guys, another hero has stepped forward to help me uncover the truth about Allison Mack and the Chloe mafia. I hope you guys realize how brave we both are.

This way for more ICONS!!

~Morgan

Comments

[mojotastic.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OMG! I'd never saw that before! "They say they do it...for the LULZ". She does! Actually, I have more insider information. I heard it was Allison Mack that pushed Beyonce down those stairs during her concert. She also uploaded the video to Youtube....for the LULZ!!!

[nyonyo.livejournal.com]

I think it just aired today or yesterday. I totally thought it was a parody at first. Especially when the van blew up. Oh, Fox News. Only you could actually think that people who post anonymously on web forums are members of a secret hacker terrorist organization known as ANONYMOUS. I'm convinced that EDLois could actually have a bright future ahead of her as a FOX News reporter :P

I bet she's the one who secretly sneaked all of those drugs to Lindsay Lohan in rehab, too.

[mojotastic.livejournal.com]

The further it got, the more I was like "This HAS to be a joke right? RIGHT?!" Hahaha! I love that though! I didn't realize that all anonymous web posts are part of that huge conspiracy.

Oh God. I just realized what Allison Mack has been doing with her free time. She is the leader of Anonymous! She just does it for the Epic Lulz!

Well, Lindsay *did* say those drugs weren't hers. I bet they were Allison Mack's. They were probably whatever she had left over after she was done selling the rest to toddlers.